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For years, as a professional rugby player, wellness was always a key focus for me, as the sport demanded peak physical performance and mental resilience. My life revolved around rugby, a sport that demanded unwavering commitment. I was fortunate enough to play professionally for Glasgow Warriors, Sale Sharks and Toulon, and to represent Scotland on the international stage. Rugby was my identity, my passion and my purpose. But in 2012, during the Six Nations Championship, everything changed. A devastating leg break led to multiple surgeries, chronic pain and ultimately, the end of my career.
The transition out of professional sport was brutal. The physical pain was one thing but the mental and emotional toll was even harder to navigate. My struggles were compounded by the fact that my broken leg and ankle had failed to heal properly. Despite multiple surgeries, I remained unable to walk for an extended period, stripping away my independence and leaving me in a prolonged state of physical limitation. This immobility took a massive toll on my mental well-being, intensifying feelings of frustration and helplessness.
To make matters worse, after my ankle surgery, my digestive system collapsed entirely. I was plagued by severe gut issues that left me struggling to absorb nutrients, leading to extreme fatigue and further exacerbating my overall decline. My body was failing me in every conceivable way - I was in chronic pain, unable to move freely, struggling to recover from multiple surgeries and now facing a cascade of health issues that left me feeling completely powerless and disconnected from the life I once knew.
My career had come to a crushing halt and I had no clear sense of direction. What followed was a long period of depression, anxiety and profound uncertainty. I felt trapped in my own body, disconnected from my sense of purpose and locked in an identity crisis that many former athletes will understand all too well - the devastating realisation that the thing that once defined you is suddenly gone, leaving behind a void that seems impossible to fill.
Without the structure and camaraderie of the sport I had devoted my life to, I found myself in a dark place. Rugby had provided me with discipline, purpose and a sense of belonging. Suddenly, all of that was gone. I was left not only with physical pain but also with deep psychological wounds. Many retired athletes face similar struggles- moving from a high-performance environment into the unknown can be overwhelming and without the right support, it’s easy to spiral into self-doubt and despair.
Searching for Healing: A Journey into Alternative Medicine
With conventional medicine offering little hope beyond short term pain management, I began exploring alternative healing modalities with an open mind and a deep sense of urgency. I was determined to find solutions that could help me not just cope with my symptoms but truly heal at the root level. My search took me across the world, where I was introduced to a wide range of healing practices, each offering new insights into the body's innate ability to regenerate and thrive.
I travelled to Central and South America, immersing myself in indigenous wisdom and plant medicines such as Ayahuasca and Iboga. These experiences were profoundly transformative, guiding me through layers of emotional trauma and suppressed pain that had built up over years of physical strain and mental stress. I learned that healing wasn’t just about treating the body - it was about bringing harmony to the mind and spirit as well. The deep introspection and emotional release facilitated by these medicines gave me a new understanding of my own struggles and set me on a path toward wholeness.
Beyond plant medicine, I discovered the power of breathwork, meditation and nutrition, realising that healing requires a multi-faceted approach. Breathwork became a fundamental tool in my recovery, enabling me to regulate my nervous system and restore balance to my body. By learning to control my breath, I could shift from a chronic state of stress into a mode of deep relaxation and repair. This not only helped me process my emotional wounds but also improved my sleep, digestion and overall vitality.
I also explored the world of nutritional healing, which was the game-changer for my recovery. Adopting a plant-based, whole-food diet allowed my body to detoxify, fight inflammation and rebuild from within. I came to understand that what we eat plays a pivotal role in either fostering health or contributing to disease. The right foods, rich in minerals, antioxidants and phytonutrients, act as medicine, supporting the liver and immune system in removing toxins and pathogens that can fuel chronic illness. My diet became a foundation for my healing, providing my body with the essential resources it needed to repair and function optimally.
As I delved deeper into the science of detoxification, stress management and nervous system regulation, I realised just how interconnected these elements were. Environmental toxins, past traumas and nutrient deficiencies all play a role in preventing optimal health. I learned that true healing requires a comprehensive approach - one that not only supports the body physically but also addresses the emotional and energetic burdens we carry.
This realisation marked a turning point in my healing journey. I became passionate about understanding the mind-body connection and how stored trauma, chronic stress and lifestyle choices impact long-term health. Techniques like heart coherence, breath control and meditation became essential tools in my daily routine, helping me stay grounded, reduce anxiety and enhance my overall well-being. Through these practices, I was able to shift my body out of survival mode and into a state of renewal, allowing true healing to take place.
Co-Founding CAIM: A Sanctuary for Healing
Through my own journey, I became deeply passionate about sharing holistic healing with others. I knew firsthand how difficult it was to navigate chronic pain, mental health struggles and the loss of identity. That passion led me to co-found CAIM, one of the leading wellness retreats in Scotland, dedicated to holistic healing and personal transformation.
At CAIM, we integrate a range of therapies, including:
Breathwork and Heart Coherence Coaching
Cold-water therapy and sauna sessions in Scotland
Plant-based nutritional guidance and detox protocols
Meditation, movement and nervous system regulation techniques
Inner work practices and workshops
Community-driven support and trauma-informed healing practices
Healing isn’t about being broken - we live in a world where environmental toxins, stress and poor diet are constant challenges but by incorporating holistic lifestyle practices, we can regain balance and vitality across the body, mind and spirit.
Looking Forward: Sharing the Message of Holistic Healing in Scotland
My health journey has taken me from the highest levels of professional sport to rock bottom and back again. Through that experience, I have come to believe in the incredible resilience of the human body and spirit. Healing is possible, no matter how broken down or lost we may feel.
At CAIM, we welcome anyone who is ready to take charge of their health, explore new possibilities for healing and discover their own innate ability to thrive. One of my greatest joys is witnessing real transformation - seeing people who were once stuck in cycles of pain, fatigue and emotional distress reclaim their vitality and step into a life of purpose and freedom.
If you’re on your own healing journey and looking for guidance, I invite you to explore what we offer at CAIM.
With Gratitude,
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